Failed Experiment

Is there really such a thing as a failed experiment?

It’s my understanding that an experiment is an attempt to gather data. Sure, there’s a hypothesis and all that, a bent, an angle, something that the experiencer is hoping to prove but whether the desired results are reached or not there is still value in the experiment itself. Right? Data is accumulated. Knowledge learned. Gleaning the cube.

I guess in that first paragraph I meant ‘experimenter’ and not ‘experiencer’ but does it really matter? Does it make a difference? Does anything matter except the experience?

Yesterday my therapist mentioned Victor Frankl’s “meaning triangle”. (I just had to look it back up cuz I couldn’t remember the name. It’s ‘A way of processing growth in a seemingly hopeless scenario.’) The three sides are: Creative - Experiential - Attitudinal. My therapist said I need to work on the third part. Yeah, no shit dude lol.

So yes, I barely continued writing on this page every day and it’s been two months since I wrote much of anything so okay, I failed that experiment but hey, I’ve gained experience.

I’ve been depressed since breaking my thumb, the second digit on my dominant hand to have pins put in it this year, but (wouldn’t it be strange if our index finger and thumb were swapped in location?!) I have slowly been working on my attitude and trying to make changes that lead to more contentedness. More sleep, exercise, forgiveness. Less junk food, self-indulgence, internet.

I don’t know what I came here to say or do except to move my fingers on my keyboard and say I hello.

I want a more productive, fulfilling creative practice and it seems the key word there is ‘Practice’.

Every music teacher I’ve ever had has said, “Adam could be really good if he just practiced.”

I hope I can apply that sentiment to all aspects of my life. Practice kindness. Practice responsiveness (not reactivity). Practice so that I can be ready for the moment, whatever wherever and whenever it is.

I’m hungry!